I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
