People in love make me want to vomit
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
