His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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