i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
