rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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