I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i think i have two assholes
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
