i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So much Jack, so little girl.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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