Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
