Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
