i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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