I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
