I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
