i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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