DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
