Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
this is an emotional support booty call
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
