the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
