It was confusing and full of hummus
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
