Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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