new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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