hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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