Fine. I'll sleep in my office
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
