There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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