So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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