it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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