Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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