I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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