can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
