Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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