Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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