This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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