he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
should my penis look like a turkey
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
