yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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