DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
