Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
