i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize