I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
And the cops told us we were all naked.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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