is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
