We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
