just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I intend to get homeless drunk
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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