K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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