i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
