TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
