I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
