Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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