How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
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This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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