just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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