you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
