Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize