I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
