Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
