Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
dude. I can hear the air.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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