Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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