Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
