The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
