Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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