Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
my shit smells like andre
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
