did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
