yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
