just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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