i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
