I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
