what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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