dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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