And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
