Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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